Hello Karl -
Here are the steps I followed. I went to your site and did a test order. I followed the order all the way to PayPal. The user name was "testme1" that I used for order purposes.
I logged in as an admin, and ran the Community Builder Update from VirtueMart option in TargetMail. The system informed me that one order was pending. The TargetMail system returned a clean result.
I then went into the backend of your Joomla install, and found testme1 in the CB User Manager. The test user was showing as Approved, Confirmed, and Enabled.
I then went to the Joomla frontend, and logged in as that user in the CB module. The login proceeded normally.
I have attached a couple of screen shots, the first highlighting what I used as an option in TargetMail, the other showing my successful test.
The question is - how were my testing steps different from yours?